Category: beverages

Killian’s is Teh Sux0rs

Ashley Bischoff6 Comments

I went to see Bryan’s band (Bulletproof Lincoln) play last night. I got there after they had already started playing, but I still wanted to get a drink at the bar. I walked up to the bar and I glanced around for a line-up of bottled beers but I didn’t see one right away. And since I wanted to get back to the listening area, I figured that I should consider my draught options instead. They had, of course, all the usual Bad American Beers: Coors, Budweiser and so on. But, they also had Killian’s Irish Red.

And, contrary to its name, it’s not from Ireland at all — rather, it’s completely American and made by Coors. I was aware of the Coors connection but I recalled that Killian’s had at least somewhat-dark in color and I thought to myself, “Well, how bad could it be?”. So, ordered one and walked back to listen to the band. I took a few sips and soon discovered that it was not what I was hoping for. [Note to amateur copy editors: “not for what I was hoping”?]

The dark color (well, reddish, anyway) belied its true flavor — or lack thereof. If I was blindfolded, someone could have told me that I was drinking Just Another American Beer and I would have believed him. There wasn’t much flavor at all, other than the distinct wateriness. And there was an odd degree of carbonation — not a creamy effervescence like a good porter but a sharp sparkle more closely resembling a club soda.

A visit to RateBeer.com later that evening confirmed my suspicions. I looked up Killian’s and discovered that it has a score of 2.82/5.0 which puts it in the 28th percentile. To put that in perspective, I checked on RateBeer’s list of Top Accessible Beers. They define an “accessible beer” as those with over 500 ratings — in other words, beers that you'd have a pretty good chance of finding in a store.

And just because a beer is “accessible” doesn’t mean that it’s a bad beer, either. I mean, the top rated Accessible Beer is Ayinger’s Celebrator Doppelbock which is in the 100th percentile (obviously rounded to 100, but still). And even the 17th best Accessible Beer, Guinness Stout, is in the 77th percentile.

But I suppose that there are relatively few beers with that many ratings since the scores tend to trail off towards the bottom of the list. For instance, Sam’s Adams Boston Lager — an otherwise decent beer — clocks in at the 53rd percentile for the #22 spot. In fairness to Sam Adams, I don’t think it a bad beer at all, but in the spectrum of all beers produced worldwide, I can understand that it might be only slightly above average.

There’re 25 entries in RateBeer’s Top Accessible Beers list and Killian’s Irish Red squeaks in at the end. A few of the posted comments mirror my own feelings of this brew:

  • “Damn you rate beer, i used to honestly enjoy this, then you came into my life. I can no longer be content in my beer darkness now that you�ve shined your glorious light down upon my palate and shown me what beer can be. Pours a light ruby red with a thin clingy head. dead nose, smells blank. has a bitter tree bark flavor. overly bitter and got bad quick. […] ”

  • “This is what I would consider a middle of the road beer in everyway. The color a very nice red, but it cant hide its mass produced roots. […] ”

  • “Clear amber colour, the head quickly disappears, butter and grapefruit aroma, some malts, tart and sweet with a bubblegum-like finish — artificial and very forgettable.”

  • “Finish is lightly sweet, moderately bitter, slightly metallic. Light to medium body, watery texture, fizzy carbonation. I am amused by the fact that the label says "Manufactured", rather than brewed. […] ”

That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy the band, but the Killian’s was a bit lacking. After a few subsequent sips I realized that the mildly non-badness of the beer wasn't outweighing the calories that came with it. So, after making it halfway through the glass, I just set it aside.

7-Up Plus

Ashley Bischoff9 Comments

Cadbury Schweppes is introducing a new beverage, 7-Up Plus. The big selling point to me is that it’s just like regular 7-Up, but with Splenda! As a bonus, it also has all kinds of vitamins in there as well:

Dr Pepper/Seven Up said the product, dubbed 7 UP PLUS, would be “a carbonated beverage fortified with calcium, vitamin C, real fruit juice and sweetened with Splenda.” […]

This new 7-Up Plus isn’t completely “full of nothing” as it has 10 calories and 3g carbs. But I can live with that — it’s close enough to nothing for me. In any case, it's one more Splenda-based soda on the market. And other than a few obscure store brands, I believe all of the Splenda-based sodas out there are from RC / Diet Rite (also a subsidiary of Cadbury Schweppes).

For what it’s worth there&Rsquo;re apparently seven flavors of Diet Rite, but I’ve only seen three of them at my local Super Target: Diet Rite Cola, Diet Rite Raspberry and Diet Rite White Grape (of which I have fridge-packs of all three in my fridge at the moment). So, while 7-Up Plus isn’t without calories, it would be the closest thing to a Splenda-based lemon/lime soda and I’m looking forward to it.

(Via CarbWire)

Diet Root Beer Floats: Not a Good Idea

Ashley Bischoff13 Comments

On Friday, Mike decided to make himself a root beer float. At the time, I resisted since I was about to eat dinner soon (it was about 6pm at the time). Mike made his float with a half-full IBC that had apparently been in the back of the fridge for quite some time. And, even though it was a bit flat, Mike said that the float still turned out well.

I went to an autocross on Saturday and, after returning, I thought that a root beer float could be rather tasty. And, I recalled that I still had a can of Diet A&W in my mini-fridge. I wasn’t sure how the float would turn out with diet soda, but I figured that I could always pour it out if I needed to.

I ventured to the freezer and took out a frozen beer mug along with some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream (the same ice cream that Mike used for his float the day before). I grabbed an ice cream scoop and added two scoops to the mug. I then added the root beer and, as root beer floats tend to do, it foamed up easily and so it took me several careful pours to get all the root beer in the mug.

It had been years since my last root beer float (perhaps ten years), and I was really looking forward to drinking it. After all, root beer and ice cream are two great tastes that taste great together. As I lifted my glass, I pondered for a moment whether the lack of sugar would have any effect on the float; but, I set that thought aside and took a big gulp. Man, it was awful.

Somehow — and perhaps due to the combination of the frozen mug along with the frozen ice cream — the root beer had frozen into chunks of rootbeersicles. It was as if I had a mug of ice cream with some caramel-colored ice tossed in. And, the full-fat/full-sugar nature of the Blue Bell only served to emphasize the watered-down quality of this pathetic root beer.

In the end, I really wanted to like it. I even tried grabbing a spoon so that I could just extract the ice cream bits. But, the root-ice had permeated the beverage and infected all of it. I had no choice but to pour it all down the drain. So, I not only didn’t end up with a tasty beverage, but I’m still itching for a good root beer float (or even a decent one). Perhaps I’ll have to buy a real root beer so that I'll be ready for next time.

The Perils of Earl Grey Tea

Ashley BischoffLeave a comment

I was reading this Metafilter thread on tea and I came across this MedALERT synopsis of a patient who ran into problems from drinkng too much Earl Grey:

A man aged 44 years reported muscle cramps to his doctor. He had consumed up to four litres of black tea daily for 25 years and had recently switched to Earl Grey tea, believing it would be less harmful to his stomach. Within a week, he developed muscle cramps and other unusual symptoms, including a feeling of pressure in his eyes. He also had blurred vision, particularly in darkness. After five months, the patient switched from Earl Grey back to pure black tea and his symptoms completely disappeared within a week. […] He also found they did not recur as long as he consumed no more than one litre of Earl Grey tea daily. [emphasis mine]

As an Earl Grey drinker, I’m not terribly worried. After all, it’s not likely that I’d be drinking over a liter a day. Checking the online unit converter, I see that a liter would be about 34 fl oz. Let’s see… At maybe 8 oz per glass, I could have four full glasses of Earl Grey. Hmm, yeah, I should be able to make that ;).

Humperdinks — Border Burger

Ashley BischoffLeave a comment

I stopped by Super Target on the way home from the gym last night and, by the time I got back to the apartment, it was almost 10pm. I didn’t feel like making dinner at that point, so I asked Mike whether he had already eaten dinner (he hadn’t) and suggested that we head off to Quizno’s (there’s one less than a mile from here). My recollection was that Quizno’s closed at 10:30, so it looked like we had enough time.

But, we got there and quickly realized that their closing time was actually 10:00 (doh!). But, Humperdinks was just across the street, so we decided to give that a try (out of curiosity, what other restaurants are open past 10pm in the Lovers & Greenville area?).

Humperdinks has its own brewery and we both wanted to make use of that. Their “Total Disorder Porter” caught my eye and we both ordered one. It was also the special of the day, which was a pleasant surprise. While it wasn’t quite at the level of a Fuller’s Porter, it still very well done (and if it were sold in stores, I’d probably buy it from time to time).

Both Mike and I had a hard time deciding on the menu, but I settled on a Border Burger (a 1/2 pound burger with guacamole, bacon, Pepperjack cheese, jalapeños and salsa) while Mike went for a Ranch Chicken sandwich (a chicken sandiwch with Monterey Jack, ranch dressing, bacon strips, lettuce and tomato).

I noticed on the menu that the Humperdinks Melt was actually served on rye bread (along with Swiss cheese). And considering how ordinary most buns are, I got to thinking that perhaps the Border Burger might be even better on rye. And even though I’ve had a Border Burger previously, I wasn’t sure about those “spicy jalapeños”. So, when I ordered the burger, I asked whether I could get it on rye (and without jalapeños). The server didn’t seem to mind that substitution.

Once the food arrived, I was pleased that the rye bread was thickly cut (about half an inch) and toasted as well. Border Burgers are already tasty, but the rye bread just made it even better. The slight tartness of the rye along with the salsa and guacamole was a great combination.

It helped that the beer was the day’s special ($3.50 for 20oz or so), but the burger was still $9. It was delicious, but I’m still not sure if it was worth $9 (maybe $7-8 would have been more fair). So, once again, rye saves the day. Now if only they’d make a rye pizza :).