Category: movies

The critics are giving Serving Sara a hard time. Really, I can’t say that I’m surprised — sure, it stars Bruce “This is my boom stick” Campbell, but I still thought it looked pretty bad from the trailers.

Washington Post: As a child, I thought pure hell meant eternal agony in the flames of Satan. Now I know it’s looking down at your watch and realizing Serving Sara isn't even halfway through.

Spliced Wire: Seeing several hundred movies a year as I do, every once in a while I’ll come across one so insufferably inept from beginning to end that it’s actually hard to review, simply because I don’t know where to begin.

Ouch. But, you thought that was bad? MetaCritic — which generates a composite score from many reviewers — gave The Adventures of Pluto Nash a 4 out of 100. Yikes.

New York Daily News: Eddie Murphy's latest comedy, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, takes place in the year 2087, which is about the earliest he can hope to be forgiven.

New York Post: So unremittingly awful that labeling it a dog probably constitutes cruelty to canines.

I watched The Thomas Crown Affair last night (the 1999 version with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo), recorded off TNT on TiVo. Really, it was disappointing. More below, but there are spoilers.

The basic plot goes something like this: Thomas Crown is a wealthy guy and he steals a painting from his own museum for his own amusement. Then, Catherine Banning, an insurance investigator, tries to prove that he stole it. An abbreviated version:

Catherine: I know you stole that painting.

Thomas: No, I didn’t. Really.

Catherine: Come on, you stole it.

Thomas: Ok, maybe I did. But you’ll never catch me. Hey, how about a date?

Catherine: Sure, I’ll go on a date. But, I'm still investigating you.

[…]

Thomas: You know, I did steal that painting.

Catherine: Just put it back, and we can be in love, eh?

[puts painting back]

Thomas: I love you.

Catherine: I love you too.

Bleh. I was confused about a few things in the film as well. For one thing, why did Catherine have such strong feelings for Thomas all the while antagonizing him and even breaking into his house? And, what's with the ending — why would Thomas surprise Catherine by meeting her on the plane instead of at the heliport as planned?

In some ways, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at the quality, since John McTiernan (of Rollerball and Die Hard With a Vengeance fame) directed it. Then again, he has had a few gems (such as The Hunt for Red October), but it could be that McTiernan is just more of an action-movie director (of which The Thomas Crown Affair is not).

Men in Black II opens this weekend, in case you were living under a rock ;). As I expected, it had a luke-warm reception from critics, scoring 43/100 at MetaCritic.

Some critics liked it, as you’d find with any movie. But, most found it merely all right.

Film Threat / Ron Wells:
Hey, I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s kind of entertaining, what I can recall of it after two days. It’s, uh, okay. Just okay, though.

Chicago Sun-Times / Roger Ebert:
The astonishing success of the original “MiB” was partly because it was fun, partly because it was unexpected. We’d never seen anything like it, while with MiBII, we've seen something exactly like it.

Salon.com / Jeff Stark:
Here's an idea: Let’s just take that same gizmo-packed alien-attack buddy-flick blockbuster from the summer of ’97 ... and make it dumber!

I trust all of those reviewers, but I think this line from the Salon review sums it up best:

Here, you can feel everyone’s expectations: This is going to be a blockbuster, goddammit! It’s Babe Ruth promising a homer, fouling out and running the bases with a big grin on his face anyway. [...]

So, I don’t think it’s a bad movie, but it may be more appropriate for a rental.